An Irishman, an Englishman and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia, drinking liquour.

"Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before we begin you are entitled to something on your back. What would you like?" said the prison guard to the Englishman just before flogging him.

The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil.

So they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London. He groaned and crawled to the airport.

Next came the German.

"Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before we begin you are entitled to something on your back. What would you like?" asked the prison guard.

"Nothing" said the German and, after receiving his lashes, he spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport.

The guards then came to the Irishman. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before we begin you are entitled to something on your back. What would you like?"

"Oh", replied the Irishman, "I'll have the German".