var msg = new Array();
Stamp = new Date();
today = Stamp.getDate();
msg[1] = "Life is a rough business, and nobody will get through it alive.";
msg[2] = "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.";
msg[3] = "Do you want to be right - or happy?";
msg[4] = "The best exercise for good relationships is bending over backwards";
msg[5] = "It's better to forget and smile than to remember and be upset";
msg[6] = "The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep";
msg[7] = "A friend is one who knows all about you and loves you anyway";
msg[8] = "If a lion's roar isn't getting you anyplace, try a bear hug";
msg[9] = "When you brood over your troubles, you will only hatch despair";
msg[10] = "Click here for pictures of today's Bougainville";
msg[11] = "Friends may come and friends may go, but enemies accumulate";
msg[12] = "Today's quote by Oscar Wilde: I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability";
msg[13] = "We hope you don't suffer from triskaidekaphobia because today is the 13th day of the month";
msg[14] = "Angling - I can only compare it to a stick and a string with a worm at one end and a fool at the other.";
msg[15] = "Laughter is to life what salt is to an egg";
msg[16] = "Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch Breakfast TV.";
msg[17] = "The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat";
msg[18] = "Television is chewing gum for the eyes";
msg[19] = "The shortest distance between two people is a smile";
msg[20] = "Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils";
msg[21] = "The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.";
msg[22] = "We don't laugh because we're happy; we're happy because we laugh";
msg[23] = "Only the mediocre are always at their best.";
msg[24] = "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.";
msg[25] = "All wars are popular for the first thirty days";
msg[26] = "Humour is to life what shock absorbers are to cars";
msg[27] = "Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than at each other.";
msg[28] = "America is the only nation in history which, miraculously, has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation";
msg[29] = "War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it";
msg[30] = "Come along on a trip down memory lane";
msg[31] = "There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.";
function writeTip2() {
document.write(msg[today]);
}