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Today's Joke:
A redhead walks into a sports bar around 10 PM. She sits down
next to this
blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV. The 10 PM news was
on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a
ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The redhead turns to the blonde and says, "You know, I bet he'll
jump.
"The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." The redhead placed
$20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as
the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive
off the
building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and
handed her $20 dollars to the redhead and
said, "All is fair. Here is your money." The redhead replies, "Honey,
I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on
the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it
again."
A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The
husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife
decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance,
anchors, and continues
to read her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the
woman
and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a
book,"
she replies, (thinking "isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry
officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the
equipment. For
all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and
write
you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says
the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment."
"Have a nice day maam", and he left.............
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also
think.
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my
best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car
comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says
Bush, "that would be an ACCIDENT."
A little girl raises her hand:
"If
a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing
everyone
involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Mr.
President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room goes
silent. No other children volunteer.
President Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who
can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, way in the back of
the
room, a small boy raises his
hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. &
Mrs.
Bush, were struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, by a
terrorist like Osama bin Laden, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic,"
exclaims Bush, "that's right. And can you tell me
WHY that would be a TRAGEDY?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it
wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly wouldn't be a great loss."
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