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Today's Jokes:
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether
you are qualified to be a "professional."
Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and
close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things
in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, "Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the
refrigerator?" (Wrong Answer)
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the
elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the
repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the
animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You
just put him in there. This tests your memory.
OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you
still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by
crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the
Animal Meeting.
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers
got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively
disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four
year old.
Send this out to frustrate all of your smart friends.
There was this fellow who worked for Australia Post whose job it was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One day a letter came to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought, "Oh boy, better open this one and see what it's all about." So he opened it and read,
The postal worker was touched, and went around showing the letter to all the others. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected 96 dollars, which they put into an envelope and sent over to her. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of the nice thing they had done. Easter came and went, and a few days later came another letter from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read,
The Blonde Painter This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies "yes." He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said.... (scroll down)... I love this one .
"FOR BEST RESULTS PUT ON TWO COATS" |